Well hello xangaland! i aint been on here in over a year! lol. I really need to start updating more freqently. Well, im in college now. Woo-hoo! go me, right? Lol. Sure. I never realized how much i liked home until i had to leave. Don't get it twisted, its not home i miss. It's my people. It would be cool if everybody had come here, or at least one person. Everybody else I met here came with people or someone else fro their school is here, ad I'm like "damn, why one of my niggas couldn't come". I think shit is harder for me because i dont fuck wit people in my age group. Never have, never will. I click with people older than me, or that at least act older. I feel like i missing something. I can't sleep most of the times. When i do lay my head down at night, my body refuses to obey. It's like im going through withdrawls. I need my people I need to see my Trey Trey and my pretty brown girl. I need my Big Booty Tookie and I definitely need my Ike. I miss feeling the energy of people I love.

ok, well as a lot of you may know I lost a really close friend of mine about 5 months ago. Not lost to death, but lost as in we were diffrent people that had to go seperate ways. Well, today I logged in to facebook and i was looking at some really old pictures of us and and... *sigh* its hurting me to say this but... i miss her. We were like sooo cool. We were best friends. Two peas in a pod. And it hurts. It hurts to know that she ultimatley allowed a female to come between us. It hurts that she betrayed me so bad and made it seem like I was the villian. It fucking hurts to know that she respected me just that much. She respected me enough to lie on me. She respected me enough to be vindictive against me. She respected me enough to compete with me and feel unrightfully jealous when all I wanted was a friendship. I guess on the outside looking in we were perfect, but there were a lot of unspoken feelings and emotions. There was a lot of things going on that I was unaware of. She was an unhealthy person, but I miss the good times. For like two months before we feel off they had been preaching at church that everyone doesn't want to see you do well and they don't mean you good and I knew that message was for me, but I didn't apply that. I allowed her to stay around me thinking we could work our issues out, but in time things just blew up. We had been holding on to nothing for a long time. She was poison in the sense that while i was with her or around her I was incapable of healing. I wasn't able to become a better person or move on with my life. Well, the point im making is that even when you love someone and you're always having fun... they dont always mean you good. Watch yourself, watch the people you love and dont take ANYTHING for face value. Nothing is what it seems. Perfection is never perfect...